"Take a Pretty Picture, Sex Dwarf"

I have been listening to the camp and beautiful voice of Marc Almond, and I go around wanting to bark 'sex dwarf' at people. AM plays it at home. Last night we spent half an hour or so saying 'bitch' in different, varyingly odd/revolting voices. And laughing. She loves Sex Dwarf.

I'm not sure what to think of the things Dad and I talked about while he was here. AM said she was amazed by how open he is. He's funny like that, he will just talk about anything, as if everything is just material/subject matter, and up for intense scrutiny. Sometines it is almost as if he is disconnected from his personal life. But then I think perhaps he is more connected to it than I am, because despite the weirdness of it, he embraces it and questions every thing that he does. We drank G+T and talked intensely. He said again that I know him better than anyone else. Yet for me it is quite a private relationship (it includes ZP of course, as everything in my life includes her). He referred to the conversations we used to have when I was a child. He used to come into my room and sit on the end of my bed and talk about LIFE, and probably there were times when I didn't understand. I remember talking extensively about the existence of god when I was 12 or 13. I don't remember what we talked about when I was younger than that. And he used to sometimes read the newspaper to me. How funny now to think of that. And how funny to think of myself as a child, and the fact that he knew me then.

He loves his iriver, and so again we listened to Sweat Lodge, which we first heard in Dublin. It makes him laugh so much, and even though BS was asleep one evening, Dad couldn't resist shouting 'I'm not an alcoholic' and something about being bald (lyrics from the song) as he was leaving my house. My god, he is so fabulously eccentric!

I haved been reading the most amazing book (Demian). It is one of those existential/transcendental/spiritual/religious books that makes you think ohhhhh about everything. Oh Herman Hesse, how I love you. So I have been quite heavily bogged down with thinking about Cain and Able, the concept of god and the devil as a split being, Abraxas, and the significance of images. It is one of those books, you know, that I know I will refer to (only in a personal sense) for a long time. It seems to be holding great personal significance for me at the moment. It resonates (I really am loathe to use that word, but I can't think of one more appropriate at the moment).

Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth is a novel by Hermann Hesse, first published in 1919. In it, Emil Sinclair is a young boy who was raised in a bourgeois home described as a Scheinwelt, or world of light. Through the novel, accompanied and prompted by his mysterious classmate Max Demian, he descends from and revolts against the superficial ideals of this world, eventually awakening into a realization of self. The novel references concepts of Gnosticism, particuarily the demiurge Abraxas, and shows the influence of Carl Jung's system of psychoanalysis. Hesse said the novel was a story of Jungian individuation, the process of opening up to your unconscious. Demian was first published under the pseudonym "Emil
Sinclair", the name of the narrator of the story, but later Hesse was revealed
to be the author.