Scopophilia and the Pleasures of the Flesh

What is good about going to the zoo? For me, nothing, but reaffirming my dislike of it. I looked at the animals and felt angry and embarrassed. It seems as if we humans simply have a desire to own things, to somehow capture and contain the essence of a thing. Are we envious of the idyllic lives of animals and so need to scrutinise them? Where does this immense pleasure in viewing come from? It seems so strange that to express love, care, admiration etc, we need to possess the thing. We need to look at it, and not in a simple and fleeting way, but stare intently until we are able to discern its difference to ourselves. I wondered what it feels like to be stared at, commented on, laughed at. And although we are happy to imbue animals with human qualities (funny how many people refer to an animal as 'him'), we won't afford them the same dignities as ourselves. It fucking disgusts me.

Again, I am very very sure of the reasons I don't eat meat. I wish I didn't have to participate in the things I feel are wrong.

I have been thinking about the work of the Starn brothers. Especially the large horse photographs, and the big photo/metal globe-like things. I want to make something big and revolving. At the moment the idea of revolving very much appeals to me. I'm in a revolving state. I like that they are concerned with light.

And Neil Gaimon has a blog.