Shameless

I can't begin to explain how into Shameless I am at the moment. The second series began on Monday night, and there were some beautiful moments (like Veronica pretending to be on with Karen saying "she makes me fanny go all wavy") and although AM and I were scared it might be a bit shit in the second series, it is still wonderful. We watched the episode open mouthed and gasping.

I am at uni. I don't know what I am doing here. The air conditioning in the library isn't working, so there are fans and sweaty people. It is making me feel sick. I am tired from talking, and emotionally drained. I am confused, scared, ballistic, sad, excited.........I talked to AM about these things in the car. Sometimes I loathe concentrating and I want to stare at something minute and think about its relationship to me. God, what am I saying?

Being here makes me feel guilt, because I know how much stuff I have to do, and how frequently I choose not to do it. I think I am no longer a proper uni student. It is half arsed commitment, which is shit, because I really love this and want it. I also want to work and feel more connected to the world.

God I feel so ill I have to get out of here. The air is warm and making my lungs feel wet (I know they are already) and clammy, or mouldy or something?? You know that sweltering hot damp air feeling and all you want is desperately cold air? I am so fucking dramatic, at times it upsets me.