Kiss Me Like a Wanker
There are times when I seriously consider giving up alcohol. Today has been one of those times. Yet I am pulled by the allure of feeling like I'm 16, in an atmosphere that is sweetly crass. So, despite being terribly grown up.....last night we went to Golgotha. It was terrible and hilarious. Sadly BS and I drank too much to be at all sensible, and at some point in the evening I found myself paired up with an incredibly beautiful goth boy (who actually turned out to be 35) called Shine (ha ha ha!). I think the whole thing appealed to me because it really reminded me of a period of time when I was 16 or 17 or something, and drank too much and decided to be a miserable goth. Later in the night I had rather a large rest on the floor of a toilet cubicle, until AM came and found me (she could see one of my shoes poking out from underneath the door). The last think I remember is lying on the toilet floor willing myself to concentrate on the ceiling. I think I was there for over an hour. But, because it easter, and being such a reverent bunny, I was resurrected. I came back from the dead and danced until 5.00am.
Today (as a consequence of last night's actions) has been quite revolting. There are huge black patches in my memory, and today AM and BS told me about things that happened that I have no recollection of (one of which being that I went into the toilet with BS and after he had pissed got stuck into him about using toilet paper. Apparently I was complaining about men not wiping after urinating. Perhaps I was feeling bitter because I know that I always have to use it. Not a fan of the drip dry...And then we got asked to leave the toilet by a bouncer. God, I really don't remember this happening.), and yet part of me really doesn't care. Part of me is interested in trashing myself and experiencing those extremes. Still, I don't think I have been that drunk for quite a few years.
I felt so beautifully ruined when we came home this morning, wearing a huge black tutu-like skirt, fishnetted arms and heavy black eye make up. Somehow I enjoy looking dishevelled, revolting and sleazily trashed.
I'm not a goth you know. I just indulge in it sometimes.
posted by ida gasp @ 7:20 am
4 Comments:
Can completely understand. There have been quite a few times that I've considered never drinking again. Most of them happened when I was younger (college) but not nearly as frequently now. I think it's a combination of not going out as much & a bit of acceptance that I will pay for my consequences & that a headache is a lesson in that.
Someone is posting from home these days... You handle the whole thing with such decorum, poise and grace. See you tomorrow night woman!
ha ha ha just indulge sometimes eh? ;)
SHINE!!!!!!!! and what happened to the young man in question?
WONDERFUL to talk to you the other night - such a nice surprise - especially as I had just been reading you that morning and writing down your new number (i had a different one for some reason)
kisses from holland
sounds like a quality cabbaged evening
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