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My Cadmium Life:

I have had two dreams recently that have stuck me as somehow significant. Although when it is your own dream it always seems significant on some monumental level. MP and I had a rule about the telling of dreams: other people's dreams are always boring, so if you really must describe a dream, it has to be somehow relevant, and you only have a very small period of time in which to do it. If I was telling him about a dream, he'd say "mate, the other people's dreams rule". And I'd say "oh yeah", and he would imitate me saying oh yeah because he thought it was really cute.

They are significant only to me because I choose to find similarities in them, and wish to relate them somehow to my body. The first one was about a flat tyre on a bike. I went to a service station at night to have it pumped up by a man I didn't know. As he was pumping it, innards that looked like guts began to push themselves out, and I realised that tyres are made of/full of guts. The second, which was last night, was that I was pregnant and didn't realise until it was too late. I had been drinking and smoking, and then realised that I might have damaged the baby. This dream probably relates to the AW+EJ pregnancy (which is real!), but really, I wanted it to mean that my body was telling me something. I wish I could relate to you The Most Beautiful Dream In the World, but like so many things, it is inexplicable; stuck in my head. I described it to TR, and he and I had fantasies about VR worlds. This was after I had done the Char Davies thing (Ephemere and Osmose, which were fucking incredible). I waited for about 6 years to see that stuff!

VR - the moon.

What is your body telling you?

It is a funny thing, that we are so interested in messages and communication, and that our bodies are involved in the exchange of information. No matter how much we deny our bodies their presence, they push themselves into our thinking. So much theory about 'the body'. What about the body politic? There was an interesting thing in Imaginary Bodies (Moira Gatens) about theoretical relationships with/to bodies. I like the idea of the imaginary body, because I do think that our bodily realities are far more amorphous and perverse than we account for. I love this book.