The Absent Pearl Necklace and the Present Pearl of Wisdom

The world is so junkily and awkwardly full of acronyms. Sometimes they make me feel official and important, and then there are the times when you really need to say them in a very Real Estate agent/Recruitment agency way. What is with those people anyway? For god's sake, what the fuck possesses someone to become a slimy, effusive, dishonest, half-cocked cock head? I have hated these people for years. I remember getting fired from somewhere for drawing rude pictures in the training manual, and so I emailed the recruitment agency to tell them they were a bunch of greasy cunts. I really meant it too you know.

Anyway, the reason I have come back to this today, is to deliver a pearl of wisdom for me to collect and eat at a later date. I was talking to ** about relationships. It is comforting to know that someone who seems so bloody sorted out and fucking perfect in fact isn't. I was thinking about MP and me, and the fundamentals of our relationship. When everything wears off and you kind of hate each other a bit, I feel that there still needs to be a deep sense of awe for each other. Despite us no longer being together, sometimes I find drawings he did, or think of things he said, and I know that I still think he is the most amazing man I have ever met. Relationships can be so beautifully eccentric (I mean ec-centric), and subtley oblique to the main funtionings of life, and I suppose that is how they are sustainable. But I miss those incredible times when MP was the most important thing in my life, and I was speechless with love. No wonder I often feel hideously bereft and loveless these days.

So, I think what I am trying to say is that I feel like the most important things you can have in any relationship (even with your parents!) are:

a constant and pervasive awareness of the reasons those you choose to maintain the relationship.

respect that is based on really knowing the person.


knowing that if you no longer feel 'in love' with them, you still think they are the most wonderful person you have ever met. Is this unrealistic? And I think that having a passionate, tumultuous and difficult relationship is always more rewarding that a comfortable one. Hey, that's just me though...

When I was in about 3rd year uni, I became quite obsessed with the (Freudian) idea of condensation and displacement. Funny how you can find long lasting significance in seemingly simple things. Just words.